Chapter 3 - Steppin' Out
(excerpt)

"C'mon Gen, let's mingle."

She looks around apprehensively.

I tug at her sleeve. "They're just artists. They won't bite. Even though some of them look like they might."

We venture into the gallery, checking out the artwork on display. It's an interesting show--the title is "Rocks and Hard Places". No paintings or photography--just some elaborate silver jewelry, pottery, and several steel, stone, and clay sculptures.

I'm admiring a ceramic bust of an old man entitled simply "Luke" when I feel Genna give me a sharp nudge to the ribs.

"Ouch!" I exclaim, and turn to see the horrified expression on her face.

"That's a giant pussy," she whispers.

"What?"

She nods toward a large stone sculpture in a corner of the gallery. It's about six feet tall and oval shaped. A long slender opening is carved into the center, flanked by several layers of folds and creases. Yeah. It's a giant pussy.

"Oh Lord. Someone has a few mother issues."

"At least," says Genna, unable to tear her eyes away from it.

I grin.

"You're out of your element tonight, girl," I tell her. "You banker types don't get to see too much freaky shit like this, do you?"

"Not really, no."

Iris bounds up to us, clutching a disposable camera. "Okay, who wants a picture with the big stone vagina?"

"Who the hell made that?" Genna says disdainfully.

"I don't know, but I can't wait to find out," says Iris. "Probably an Art Guilder. I bet Jordan was the inspiration."

I shake my head. "Come on, mine is much smaller."

A slick-looking blond waiter glides up, balancing three glasses of white wine in the middle of his tray. "Would you ladies care for a drink?" he asks, all teeth.

"How do you know we're ladies?" Iris asks. He blinks at her, confused, and I stifle a laugh.

"Yes, thank you," Genna says, ignoring Iris. The waiter gratefully turns to her, offering his tray.

"Do you have any red?" I ask.

"We have some in the back," says the waiter, unable to take his eyes off Genna. "I'll go and open it."

Genna smiles shyly as he grins, looks her up and down, then glides away.

"I think he'd like to open you, Gen." I say.

"Come on, he's cute."

"Yeah, he's cute if you like that tall, blond, Prussian-Nordic, Aryan Nazi type," I say dryly. Both Genna and Iris turn to stare at me.

"It's from a Woody Allen movie," I explain to their blank faces. "Sleeper."

"Hmm, okay." Iris says. "Well, anyway. Let's find some food."

"How can you eat again?" says Genna, incredulous. "We just had dinner."

"You wait here for your man," Iris tells her. "Don't worry about us. And here," she shoves the disposable camera in Genna's pants pocket. "Hold on to this for me. Be careful. It's very expensive."

Genna takes a swig of her wine and waves us away.

"She doesn't understand the value of free food," Iris says when we are out of earshot.

I shake my head. "She's just pissed because we were making fun of her boy toy."

We make our way through the growing crowd of people, most of them congregated in small groups, sipping their drinks and chattering away.

"Hey there," Iris greets a tall, light-skinned guy with a big round Afro. He nods and gives her a casual half-smile as we pass.

"Who's that?"

"That's Ty. He works in stained glass. You want to meet him?"

I shrug. "Maybe later."

"Oh, come on. I hear he's quite the stud, Jordy." She hands me a small plastic plate from the buffet table. "Of course, I haven't gotten personal confirmation on that yet." She grabs the metal tongs from the cheese tray and snaps them at me. "I'll let you take a crack at him first, if you want."

I laugh, grabbing the tongs away from her.

"Nah--you go right ahead babe," I say, piling little orange and yellow cheese cubes onto my plate. "I can't get into a guy who has bigger hair than me."

"Holy shit, look at Genna."

I follow Iris's gaze. Wine Boy has already rejoined Genna. Apparently he never made it back for the bottle of red; his tray is nowhere in sight. They seem to be int he midst of a deep discussion, his head is bent towards her so far he looks set to dive right into her cleavage.

"I want to look like Genna in my next life," I sigh, popping a cherry tomato into my mouth.

"Screw that. I just want to be taller."


Excerpt from chapter three of the novel Thanks, That Was Fun by Andie Ryan. All rights reserved.